Shhhh, rock and roll show, don’t pass it on…

I picked up this week’s Portland Phoenix and read the review of the new disc by Dominic and the Lucid. Very favorable review. I’ve heard great things about them, and am interested in checking out the CD release show. Awesome! Ok, I see it’s at the Empire. That’s a good club, I’ve been there before, let’s just jog over to their website… oh no, my heart just sunk. Please tell me they have a website! I plug in my trusty search into Google: “empire portland maine” Success! Oh joyous light shining from above, narrowing your heavenly beams on me and my hip mac laptop (cut out the glare, though, seriously). The very first hit on Google is the website for the actual EMPIRE club in Portland! My faith in humanity has been restored.

Let’s give it little click-aroo.

No.

No, please.

This … no, this isn’t happening.

Please, I encourage everyone to go there now. As of this posting, which is 3:40 PM on August 22, 2008, the first thing you read on the Empire’s website is “Cool show on Sunday” posted on May 2, 2008. Over three months ago.

30 PM - 8-22-08

Empire Screen Shot - Main Page - 3:30 PM - 8-22-08

Ouch. That is painful. But, hey, I’m forgiving, I’m sure they at least update their calendar! Who wouldn’t update their online calendar? Click on “Live Schedule” (if you have a steel encrusted stomach).

30 PM - 8-22-08

Empire Screen Shot - Live Schedule - 3:30 PM - 8-22-08

Speaks for itself, doesn’t it? “Stay tuned for updates shortly.”  This gets the all time WTF.  Let’s weigh the pros and cons of not posting your establishment’s events on your website.

Pros

  • Undesirable patrons (drunks, hippies, bad tippers) won’t stumble across the event during their e-searching – at the public library – for places to raise rucki
  • Hipsters may think they are the only ones in the know about your secret event and will have falsely raised opinions of your club
  • Okay, I’m reaching here, I can’t even think of any good funny “Pro’s”. On to the Cons…

Cons

  • People with internet-adoring ways may not think your club is open, and won’t come and give you their money
  • It looks like you have your head firmly up your ass
  • Someone Googling a band that has played there won’t stumble across your site and now know about how cool your venue is for having had that band play there
  • Someone wanting quick info about the show – at your venue – won’t be able to get it from – your site
  • You’re ostracizing the 2-300 internet using Portland denizens
  • You’re contributing to the social acceptability of not using the internet as a means of promotion
  • You’re doing a disservice to the bands that play there by not doing the simplest means of getting the word out
  • If you have your events listed, the only possible difference conceivable is that MORE PEOPLE MIGHT COME. That benefits you financially, the band financially, the people who come entertainably
  • It benefits all the same parties longterm because when more people attend the event it builds a bigger scene and the comfort with, and even an expectation of, going out, and seeing, and being seen on the scene

In conclusion, what is wrong with you people! In the time it took me to write this post, you could have the whole next month up there. Did you lose the password to your admin site?

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. AMEN!

  2. Perhaps there is an epidemic of carpal tunnel in town? Not you, obviously.

  3. my flux capacitor is almost complete. so maybe i’ll be able to catch that “Cool show on Sunday” pretty soon. wouldn’t wanna miss it, with all the hype.


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